PREMIER LEAGUE SACK RACE: TEN HAG BACK IN TOP SPOT BUT EVERYONE SEEMS SAFE FOR NOW

It is with heavy heart we must now report it is officially probable that no more Premier League managers will lose their jobs this season. It’s May and we’ve long reached the point where ‘No manager to leave’ is actually favourite, and now it’s very odds on despite Manchester United’s utter silliness.

 

1) Erik ten Hag (Manchester United)

The whole ‘let teams have all the shots against us and maybe they will tire themselves out’ tactic finally seems to be yielding precisely the results one might expect. It didn’t work for Homer Simpson and it isn’t working for Erik ten Hag, who still nevertheless appears likely to stumble grimly through until the bitter end of a season that now looks set to end with Manchester United failing to qualify for Europe unless something hugely unexpected/funny happens in the FA Cup final.

READ: The leading contenders to be next Manchester United manager if they sack Erik ten Hag

 

2) David Moyes (West Ham)

Definitely leaving in the summer and pretty much definitely being replaced by Julen Lopetegui, so understandable that the bookies are taking no chances on him deciding to sod it for a game of soldiers before the final day, with West Ham’s season in full petering out mode.

 

3) Chris Wilder (Sheffield United)

He was always the Blades’ Plan B but could they have a Plan C? They do look like they might need a Plan C. And C there stands for Championship, because Sheffield United’s next move is all about what gives them the best chance of yo-yo-ing straight back out of that division next year. This year is done.

 

4) Vincent Kompany (Burnley)

Burnley appear to have blown a surprising late chance to get out of trouble, and we’re once again firmly in ‘best man to get us back up’ territory to explain the Clarets’ reticence to part with Kompany. They may well be right there, but there’s also a fair bit of retrofitting going on. Nobody predicted Burnley would go down this meekly despite multiple rivals suffering with points penalties and such.

 

5) Nuno Espirito Santo (Nottingham Forest)

Has probably just about done enough to keep Forest up and is thus safe until maybe September.

 

6) Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)

A lesser version of the Moyes effect at play here, now the farewell quadruple is a farewell single. Still seems inconceivable that he won’t see things out, mind.

Who will replace Jurgen Klopp as Liverpool manager?

 

7=) Eddie Howe (Newcastle)

And lo we find ourselves already at the names for which the chance reads as close to zero as is statistcally possible.

 

7=) Mauricio Pochettino (Chelsea)

Ending the season pretty well, and needed to. Not to survive this one – that was pretty clear some time ago – but to give himself a fighting chance of starting the next one, which he will now do. Owes Cole Palmer a debt that can frankly never be repaid.

 

7=) Sean Dyche (Everton)

Survived pretty comfortably in the end, with just glimpses that next season might not even be entirely harrowing. On the field at least. Off it, Everton remain a catastrof*ck of enormous proportions.

 

7=) Thomas Frank (Brentford)

Almost got dragged into a full relegation scrap but avoided that unpleasantness and now the Bees spend an anxious summer once again hoping nobody makes a move for Frank. Especially as Ivan Toney is pretty much gone already.

 

7=) Roberto De Zerbi (Brighton)

We keep coming back to this six-wins-in-loads-and-loads-of-games stat, but there is still absolutely zero chance Brighton sack De Zerbi or voluntarily move on from him in the summer. But there’s going to be a lot of interest from a lot of places.

 

7=) Marco Silva (Fulham)

He apparently turned down a big old pile of cash to move to Saudi Arabia and has since signed a new deal. There was a pair of 5-0 wins that made no sense but six games without a win – and exit out of both cups – was all a bit bleak before victory over Bournemouth settled things again.

The victory at Old Trafford was a sweet one, and the dismantling of Tottenham at home perhaps even more so. Both were reminders that Fulham are the best kind of mid-table side: perfectly capable of beating absolutely anyone, but not averse to losing shambolically to, say, Burnley. Fulham were suitably terrible for a few weeks after toying with Spurs, drawing chaotically at Sheffield United and losing to Forest and Newcastle.  And then they completed a double over West Ham at London Stadium. Lovely stuff. Hopefully he’s going nowhere because Fulham are our favourite of the mid-table teams.

 

7=) Gary O’Neil (Wolves)

Happy to report that we were very wrong about O’Neil, who has Wolves firmly ensconced in mid-table as he makes a compelling bid for “Actually, He’s The Real Manager Of The Season In My View” garlands.

 

7=) Rob Edwards (Luton)

Surely not. Would be the most Modern Football thing ever.

 

15=) Andoni Iraola (Bournemouth)

Funny old team, Bournemouth, but ample evidence that Iraola could make them really quite good. They’ve had a run of seven wins in nine games and another of four wins in five. Those are also their only Premier League wins in a season that has featured both a nine-game and seven-game run without a win. But they’re very, very safe, and so too surely is Iraola.

 

15=) Oliver Glasner (Crystal Palace)

Steered Palace comfortably into the 40s, to our delight, and showing plenty to suggest 50 points or more should be well within range next season. Giddy times indeed.

 

15=) Ange Postecoglou (Tottenham)

Harrowingly Spursy end to the season a stark reminder to us all that they remain resolutely incapable of change, but Postecoglou is going nowhere until they’re 13th after 11 games of next season and they embark sadly on yet another forlorn, doomed 18-month project after a vaguely encouraging caretaker spell from Ryan Mason lifts them back into the top half at least.

 

15=) Unai Emery (Aston Villa)

Villa are no longer part of the elite but have a manager competing with that elite. There is at least one elite job available this summer. But having felt the strain of replacing a legend when following Arsene Wenger at Arsenal, would he even want another taste of that particular medicine by replacing Jurgen Klopp at Liverpool should the opportunity arise? But has lost at home to Manchester United, which is arguably in and of itself a sackable offence. Did the double over his former club Arsenal, though, which is absolutely delicious.

 

15=) Mikel Arteta (Arsenal)

Rocketed up the charts after claims from Spain – quickly dismissed – that he was also thinking of walking away.

Pep next? Arteta? Ranking the other 19 Premier League managers on how likely they are to quit like weary Klopp

 

15=) Pep Guardiola (Manchester City)

How big an offer from Saudi Arabia would it take, do we reckon?

2023-07-05T12:50:51Z dg43tfdfdgfd